


The Love-Addict and the Ice-Chewer

by just_my_musings22



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Addiction, Addiction Camp, Drug Addiction, Ice Chewing Addiction, Love Addiction, M/M, Swearing, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 21:25:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2125185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_my_musings22/pseuds/just_my_musings22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil meet at a Teenage Addiction Camp.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, um, hi. I'm fully aware I haven't written for aaaaages. I don't know this just kinda came to me. At first I wanted to make Dan a Sex-Addict but then I found out about Love-Addiction. Here's a link explaining it and telling you a little bit about it. http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/addiction/Pages/clarecatford.aspx  
>  Also Ice-Chewing is a real thing, I don't know much about it though, I'm sorry if I got anything wrong. The same with Addiction Camps, so sorry.
> 
> Also when Dan says he's an obsessive freak and such, that's just part of the story, I do not actually think that about Love-Addicts.  
> I will try and update when I can!  
> BYeeeee
> 
> PS Heres a link to my Tumblr http://my-souls-on-hiatus.tumblr.com/

Dan Howell stood up and looked at the faces around him. Most were pale and unhealthy looking, and there were few who didn’t have bags under there eyes. At every recovery camp, every therapy session, this was the bit he hated. He ran his tongue over his dry lips, and began to introduce himself.

“I’m Dan Howell”, he started uncertainly. His palms sweated and he brushed them against his jeans. The group leader nodded at him gently to go on. “I’m Dan Howell and I’m a Love Addict.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled, sitting back down, ready for the onslaught of questions and accusations. Oh, he knew them all.

“That’s not even a real thing”, or “You just gotta learn to control yourself mate”, or even laughter would always break out among the group. It always did. This time too.

A few sniggers started to break the silence, but they were suppressed quickly by the instructor. Thank goodness she was nice.

“Dan, since there are some of us that don’t understand your situation”, she asked, pointedly staring at the few who laughed, “do you think you could explain a bit?”

Dan stood up again slowly. This was new. He never had to explain it before. “I… Well, I’m addicted to love. And affection. I can get obsessed with people, and I often become needy and I can’t end relationships. No matter how abusive they are. And if I get dumped, I get panic attacks that can lead to depression”

He said this all in a flat voice, reciting the facts, while his eyes flitted around the faces of the other young adults sitting in a circle before him. They would have him marked as a stalker now, someone who would look through their trash or watch them while they slept. Which wasn’t the truth at all.

* * *

 

Eleanor, the kindly group leader, patted his shoulder as he sat back down again. His head felt light-headed, but forced himself to listen to the other’s stories. Most were drug and alcohol abusers, two were sex-addicts, but one stood out. He was sitting directly opposite Dan, wearing brighter clothes that all of them. He also looked about the healthiest, except from his quite pale skin.

He stood up, not looking nervous at all, and with a deep, clear voice he recited:

“My name is Phil Lester, and I have Pagophagia. It’s a weird addiction, which is a form of Pica, a condition where people crave and eat non-food items. Basically, I’m addicted to chewing ice.”

Phil then sat down composedly, seemingly oblivious to the laughter that was swelling up around him. Dan stared at him with confusion, a slight jealousy welling up at this bizarre boy who just didn’t seem to care. He studied him closely. He had black hair, swept in almost the same pathetic style Dan had. Dan felt his lips start to curve into a smile, and suppressed it quickly. He was meant to be paying attention.

Dan had been scared to go to his first addiction camp, but soon found out that they were all the same. You just had to keep your head low and tell people what they wanted to hear. The instructors would be happy to know that you were getting better, but inside he knew it wasn’t true. He was still a fucking pathetic loser.

* * *

 

“For this first exercise, I want you to find someone you are compatible with, someone who you would be happy to share a dorm with. Float around, say hello. I know it might be hard, but don’t be shy!” Eleanor said, starting to walk around the bright room.

Immediately everyone got into pairs. Dan expected that. None of that ‘floating around’ bullshit. They had probably decided earlier, or by using meaningful glances. And of course Dan was alone. No-one wanted to partner with some creepy ‘love-addict’. So he stood there, hands in pockets, looking at the plain wood floor. Until… Shoes breached his line of vision, tattered black converse. He looked up, startled. It was the ice-chewer, with a friendly look on his face.

“Hi”. He said. “My names Phil”. Dan shot him a suspicious look, then sighed.

“Listen, ‘Phil’. You don’t want to pair up with me, really. Didn’t you hear? I’m a clingy freak.” Dan was avoiding Phil’s eyes. It would be nice to make a friend, but Dan wasn’t going to let himself get attached. Not after last time.

“Well I don’t really have a choice, do I?” Phil’s voice didn’t even have any accusation in it. Dan looked up again, looking into Phil’s blue eyes for some answer. No-one ever spoke to him like this.

“We’re um, meant to introduce each other”, Dan mumbled, suddenly embarrassed at his outburst.

“I’ll go first”. Jesus Christ, how an ‘ice-muncher’ could be so confident, Dan wondered. Phil continued.

“So yeah, I’m Phil Lester, I, um, chew ice. I get depressed when I can’t but recently I’ve been much better. I like anime, Pokémon, cereal and um. That’s about it.” When he got no response from Dan he said quietly, “Listen Dan, my Aunt used to be a Love Addict. Like you. I know what it’s like dealing with it, so you can at least _talk_ to me.”

Dan’s brown eyes met Phil’s sincere blue ones. They held there for a moment, until Dan shrugged and grasped Phil’s hand in a polite handshake, and smiled ruefully at him.

“I like anime too”.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next part ^-^

The camp was situated in Scotland, a place where parents could send their troubled kids to do outdoorsy stuff, such as building fires, hiking up mountains and learning to care for the environment. Needless to say, Dan was not a fan of it. He and Phil spent most of these excursions talking about things they liked: TV Shows, animals, games and so on. Phil was the one who struggled the most, and Dan was happy to stay at the back with him and talk. One thing they never breached on, was their family and what brought them to the addiction.  
A very memorable moment was when they were at the top of some mountain (Dan and Phil hadn’t really been paying attention, they were too immersed in discussing the pros and cons of lions), and Dan accidentally stepped on one of the other kid’s shoes. She was a big, hulking girl called Bea, who, upon arrival, immediately wrapped some of the weaker kids around her finger, due to her sheer brute force.Dan and Phil wanted no part in her little court, and simply kept themselves to themselves.

Bea spun around, her feet planting into the loose stones, her face inches from Dan’s.  
“You little freak.” She said it matter-of-factly, her voice quiet so as not to alert the instructor. “I know what you’re addicted to, wanker. You’re not getting it on with me”. Bea snorted at herself, the noise echoing around the valley below them. Dan just stood there, shell-shocked. Phil was the only one close enough to see tears starting to form in his dark brown eyes. Instantly his nerves were standing on end, his head buzzing. She had made Dan cry. She had insulted the one thing that should not be insulted. Quick as a flash Phil was on her, his thin arms straining to claw at her face. Dan just stood there, tears slipping over his nose.  
Phil got trouble and a black eye.

It was nighttime, and Phil had just woken up to an empty tent. Which meant that Dan was outside somewhere, in the dark. Hurriedly he got up, and wrapping his sleeping bag around his shoulders, unzipped the tent and slipped outside. He found Dan pretty easily, as it was a bright night and he had not gotten very far. He was looking at the stars, lying on the damp moss.

  
As Phil came closer he saw Dan wipe a tear away from his cheek, and he resisted the urge to hug him.  
“Hi”. Phil sat down on the wet moss next to him.  
He stared at Dan from the corner of his eyes. It had come to light, in the past few days, that Phil might be in love with him. He filled the void from his addiction in his heart, laughed and joked with him, didn't call him a freak. Because they understood each other. They had gone through the same crippling things. And now, looking at Dan's trembling eyelashes, he was sure than ever.  
Very very slowly and carefully, Phil inched his hand over and layed it softly over Dan's.

  
It was the wrong thing to do.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so longggg, school was stupid and tiring but it's okay because I have the next part now ^_^

Dan stood up suddenly, disturbing some nesting birds from their tree. He looked down at Phil with his eyes still shining with tears, while the other boy simply stayed on the ground, dumfounded. His puzzlement soon gave way to anger at himself for thinking doing that was okay.

  _Stupid, stupid, stupid_ , Phil was mentally hitting his head against a brick wall, cursing at himself. _Dan was sad, Dan was vulnerable, Dan was a_ Love _Addict._ He scrambled up, about to try to redeem himself when he felt Dan’s lips crash against his own in a furious, pounding kiss. They broke away suddenly, breathing hard.

“You don’t want to be with me.” Dan’s voice was harsh and loud in the silence. Phil frantically shook his head. No, _yes_ , he did want to be with Dan, he wanted to _heal_ him, he wanted them to heal each other. And it was so _cliché_ , what Dan just said, it made him angry.

“I do, I do Dan – listen!”, but it was too late. The younger boy had disappeared down the hill.

Phil wondered how the world could be so still, while his heart beat furiously in his chest, head pulsing with emotion. How could the trees still be there? How had they not uprooted and ran after Dan and told him it was okay? He felt an attack rising up within him, but with shaky breaths he calmed himself down, and with burning in his eyes, he slowly made his descent. 

 

* * *

 

 

That was that. The damage had been done. Phil went back to the tent, and dragged his sleeping bag outside, the cold air prickling the nape of his neck. He didn’t want to inflict his presence on Dan any longer. He really was a bad person, he thought. Dan was fragile and healing, and then he just barged in and… Phil blinked rapidly to stop the water welling up in his eyes again. He climbed into his cold sleeping bag, and zipped it up all the way for comfort. Phil was still awake when he heard Dan return to the tent about an hour later.

“Phil?” He heard Dan whisper. He emerged from his sleeping bag groggily to see the cautious brown eyes peeping from the entrance to the tent. It was light enough to see now, a beautiful misty lightness that wasn’t quite there yet. Dan was beckoning for Phil to join him inside the tent, and Phil, not quite believing, obeyed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully be updated soon! Stay cool ^_^


End file.
